Matrescence coaching: finding your way in motherhood
You can love your baby and still miss parts of your old life. You can feel grateful, uncertain, proud and stretched — sometimes in the same afternoon.
If you are asking “Where do I fit in all of this?”, there is room to explore that question.
A word for the change
Matrescence describes the transition into motherhood, including physical, emotional and psychological changes. Researcher Aurélie Athan’s work treats it as a period of development, rather than expecting motherhood to arrive fully formed. Read more about matrescence at Teachers College, Columbia University.
The word can offer a starting point for reflection. Your experience remains your own: there is no single way you are meant to feel about becoming a mother.
What could you bring to coaching?
You do not need a polished goal or a plan for your whole life. We might begin with something specific:
- Identity: which parts of yourself would you like more space for?
- Work: what matters to you as you consider returning, changing direction or taking a break?
- Boundaries: where would a clearer request or a different arrangement help?
- Support: what are you carrying, and who could share it?
- Your next chapter: what would you like to explore without committing to a big decision yet?
A conversation could start with “I want to feel more like myself” or “I don’t know what I want from work now”. We can take time to make that question more concrete.
One small place to begin
Try finishing these three sentences, in a notebook or aloud:
- Something I miss is…
- Something I want to keep is…
- One thing I would like help with is…
Choose whichever feels useful. There is no need to turn your answers into another list of things to achieve.
For example, missing time to think might lead to a conversation about sharing a regular childcare task. Uncertainty about work might lead to exploring your priorities before looking at jobs. These are possibilities to consider, rather than a formula to follow.
Space for practical next steps
In coaching with Akilah, you set the focus. A session offers time to reflect on your choices and consider a manageable next step. Sessions take place online and last 45 minutes.
Coaching does not provide therapy or treatment. If you are experiencing persistent low mood, anxiety or difficulty coping after having a baby, speak with your GP, midwife or health visitor. The NHS information on postnatal depression explains symptoms and routes to support.
Begin with a conversation
A free discovery call is a chance to explain what you are looking for and ask questions. You do not need to know exactly where the conversation will lead.
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